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English: The BBC Top Gear presenting team of ,...

English: The BBC Top Gear presenting team of , and . (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’m not British. I’m not English. I’m not famous. I’m not the mayor of London. I do have Scot-Irish ancestry mixed with German. I live in America and not England. No matter. I want to drive the car on Top Gear. I want to be on Top Gear.

Oh no, not that American crap. The real Top Gear. The one on the BBC. The Top Gear with Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Hamster. I mean Richard Hammond. I want to drive the Kia. I want to sit on the Green bench seat and talk to Jeremy. Heck, I want to talk to them all. I want to help them with a film about getting lost.

Oh yeah. I do want to be on Top Gear. Think of it. A home brewing, photography loving, Autobahn trained American guest on a British television show. I want to talk torques and horse powers (why do they make plurals of those words) with Jeremy. I want to talk over pints of beer with James May. I want to do better doughnuts better than Hamster. I mean Richard Hammond.

So, BBC, come one. Give a bloody Yank a break. I’ll even come early and make beer for the audience.

I want to be on Top Gear.

 

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